Setting Boundaries in a difficult situation.


2 “C”s 2 boundaries… one is totally clear… the other is a work in progress so that I am not creating “manuals” for my roommate

C1: Roommate opened my door to look into my room while I slept
T: My bedroom is a space that requires consent to enter
F: Clear, Firm, Protective
A: Requested confirmation that roommate gain consent before opening my door or entering my private space- Self-action: Security bar placed on door while home working and sleeping
R: Boundary maintained, Door remains closed

C2: Roommate is working from home and watching television/ napping on the couch in the middle of the day
T: This is also my working environment, and the noise from the TV interferes with my work.
F: irritation, mixed signals, desire to speak
A: I really want to ask him to make good on his initial promise not to “work” from home… but that’s his business, not mine. I also want to move out.. but I haven’t found a place yet, I want to request the TV remain off during certain hours of the day… but again that’s his business.
However the sound system it is attached to (that creates the sound) is mine… so “I’d like to ask that my sound system remain off from the hours of 2-5 on Mondays and Tuesdays, and from 9 am to 3 pm on Wed, Thursdays, and Fridays” Self-Action: If the sound system is turned on, I will dismantle it and box it up.
R: ? Probably further drive the rift that has existed since the door incident happened.

I can see very clearly, how my (A) of not moving out because “None of these apartments will work” — not following through with the initial self-action of the boundary in c1 has really led me to the (T)(F) and difficulty with (A) in c2.