I have a wonderful relationship to my partner. We are a couple since almost 10 years and I truly enjoy every minute I spend with him. However, when it comes to sex I feel we are somehow stuck. I started to read a book to take sex to a next level, started to open the dialogue around the topic and asked him to read the book as well, but it does not seem to change much.
In the past months, I often felt hurt since the way we sleep together does not make me feel desired or appreciated. I even at times had the feeling he feels disgusted by me. I see this further escalating if I do not change my thinking around it.
I feel that he is not listening to what I am trying to tell him and that he is too much focused on himself and does not change his idea of how sex should be. I for example told him that for me it’s important that we take enough time, but he still prioritizes other things which leaves no time for us. I am getting more and more frustrated by the situation and have increasingly little desire to sleep with him. How can I change my mindset around this to break the vicious cycle?