I’m in a mutually monogamous relationship. When we first got together we had a very active sex life. Now it’s less frequent. I want it to be just as frequent as before. Here are some models:

C – sex life
T – when he doesn’t want to have sex as often it means something is wrong with me
F – insecure
A – act cold, don’t initiate things, ruminate
R – I don’t want to have sex as often (? – I don’t think this is true) or I’m showing up in a way that’s “wrong”/not consistent with what I want

C – sex life
T – he doesn’t want to have sex as often and that’s all about him, but it’s so boring and not the relationship I want or thought we had
F – turned off
A – detach, not affectionate, don’t initiate, think about my ex, sometimes flirt my with ex
R – I don’t want to have sex as often with him? (Again, not really true) or I’m being boring

C – initiating sex
T – whenever I try to initiate, he rejects me
F – rejected
A – detach, disconnect, not affectionate, stop trying, ruminate, think about ex, flirt with ex sometimes
R – I’m rejecting myself and this relationship that I really want

Any guidance is appreciated!