Five months ago, I started a relationship (first friendly) and then fell in love about three months ago. I’m married. The other person is also in a relationship. We both fell in love. But we both want to be committed to our other relationships. So we never lived our relationship together as a normal one. The most we’ve done is text.

We stopped this ambiguous relationship to prevent sexual attraction between us two. I still love the person (but may not be in love [I am not sure]). I respect her and want her to be part of my life. I know not in a romantic sense, and this saddens me. However, I am still happy to keep her in my life.

My problem is that I am addicted to her. I need to text her every day for an hour, or else I’ll feel devastated. She needs it too but does not want to. She tries not to answer the text messages to stop being in love with me.

I feel that the less she answers, the more addicted I get. I want to stop feeling like this. She doesn’t want to feel addicted, and it hurts so much to not converse with her. I haven’t succeeded in keeping her in my life and not suffering. I don’t know how to manage this. Should I stop texting her for a few months to lose the addiction? I am afraid that if I do so, we will lose the marvelous connection we have today.

Another problem is that I keep having sexual desire even though I’ve worked on decreasing it. It has been so painful to stop loving this way. I may not have succeeded. To reduce the pain of letting her go, I started overeating. I do not want to keep on like this. Please help.