Sexually desirable without a manual and full reliance on self?

My husband doesn’t prioritize sex or our sexual life. We haven’t had sex in years (and I’ve vocalized its importance to him clearly).

How can I feel sexually desirable and sexy if my partner isn’t interested? While I understand that it’s *my responsibility* to generate feelings of being sexy and sexually desirable, and that putting the onus on him moves into “manual” territory, I don’t understand how I can generate feelings that I’m sexually desirable when it actually involves another person.

Is there a way to feel sexually desirable alone? That doesn’t make sense…

I’d love some clarity around this. Thank you!