Shame and Expectations


When I was growing up, my parents put a lot of importance on academic achievement and that’s how we were rewarded in our family with positive attention. I don’t think this is just a personal reflection as both my brother and sister recognize this and we’ve discussed it together many times. I feel in my work environment now, I’ve transposed that framework and am striving for 100% perfection on every decision and positive feedback and experience shame when those expectations I set aren’t met. I know I can solve this within myself, but it’s very deeply ingrained so will take a lot of work. Do you think it would be helpful as part of this to speak to my parents about it in order to sort through it?