Shame is a feeling I avoid feeling as much as I can. I’ve always done this, and I’m even scared of feeling shame most of my life. Even though I am successful and have achieved many great things in my life, I think I have not been able to reach my full potential because of shame. I would love to learn to process, practice or manage this emotion so that I can be fearless and focused in my growth. I think this could be a great opportunity for growth. Could you please help me process this emotion?
So far the general model is this:
T: I don’t want to feel this. It feels awful.
F: Fear of feeling shame
A: I do not act on what I need to do
R: I can’t reach my full potential.
In a specific example:
C: I need to record 8 videos explaining a software to my customer
T: I will make mistakes and look foolish and unprofessional or unknowledgeable
A: I avoid doing the task, I get very delayed, I buffer with food, social media, other tasks, sleeping, etc.
R: I get behind in my job and work accumulates so I don’t have enough time to complete my tasks and also keep learning new skills to improve my performance.