Shaming myself for wanting to get back on anti-depressants.

I have been in SCS for 6 months and am now in LCS Certification. I feel like I have grown so much and am starting to take responsibility for the results I have created in my life. I got off of anti-depressants about two years ago- after being on them for 20 years. Lately, I can’t seem to shake my depression and anxiety no matter how much thought work I do. I know I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety for years, but since going off of meds, I don’t have a formal diagnosis. So then I end up bashing myself for wanting to take them again since I have self-coaching tools.

C: Wanting to get back on anti-depressants
T: I shouldn’t need medication because I can self-coach anytime
F: Ashamed
A: Beat myself up for wanting to get back on meds;wallow in self pity
R: I second guess my decision about getting medication