**my learning** By breaking it down into it’s components and exploring the faulty/not useful thinking behind each component, it’s easier to make a big dare feel easier. When it’s actually just one small part of a task that I have to muscle my self confidence through, it’s easier to attempt the whole thing.
How I figured this out:
My dare was to return a part to the plumbing company that I thought was wrong and asking for a new part. I had bought the parts yesterday, and my husband had tried to put it on, and broke it, and it didn’t work. I wanted to return both parts and ask for a new one, and also learn if the part was wrong, or if my husband had just installed it incorrectly. I did two models to explore both feelings I had.
Model 1.
C Getting correct parts to fix tap
T They might say I’m wrong.
F Shame
A Probably just leave and not ask to refund and replace
R Not get correct parts.
Model 2.
C Getting correct parts for tap
T They might say husband is wrong and I would have to tell him.
F Apprehension (check out my new feeling word!!!!)
A Ask for details to try to understand as best I could.
R Pass on second hand information to husband.
Interestingly the apprehension about having to explain to my husband was bigger than the shame.
My intentional model before dare
C getting correct parts for tap
T They might have made a mistake with the wrong part and be able to fix it easily.
F Confident
A Ask questions calmly. Listen well for solution. Remember solution. Get correct parts.
R Have right parts and know how to fix it.
Dare completed – revelation revealed.
I was annoyed but was able to channel my annoyance into asking for what I wanted. (ie a hefty discount on the correct part). I could have been more daring in the second half of the dare, but just doing it felt so hard to get started. Getting started doing the dare gave me the self confidence to keep going with it as a normally would. For some reason the dare I chose (returning parts) was something that wouldn’t normally bother me, but I was in fact holding back from. Once I got past the bit that actually scared me – having to go back and explain to husband – when I found out that we did in fact get the wrong part the first time – it was easy to continue on as normal.
