I have been listening to Brooke’s podcast for at least 6 months now, and at some point I had a breakthrough on believing the model. Believing hard was finally working and I was practicing my thoughts that “I love going to the gym for mental health” and “I love eating a healthy diet.” After that point I wanted to share the secrets with everyone. I would talk it would my husband and he would see the value in some of it, but didn’t think it applied to him. I did the same with a few of my friends that I could see struggling with relationships or work. I would forward them the podcasts that I think would work and then I would talk with them about it in person. One friend flat out told me that we can’t change our thoughts – which I understand now that thoughts just appear and it is the practice of considering a new thoughts that takes practice to be mindful about it. Other friends listened, but didn’t show the same level of enthusiasm or actively found a reason why they didn’t like the podcast. I also shared my recent plan to do “no flour and no sugar for 2 weeks” over the 4th of July with my best friend while visiting her. As soon as I shared that I had only successfully done it for 1 day, but that each day I consider a fresh start, she laughed and thought it was funny that I was trying to do that when in her opinion I was a “sugar addict” and “can’t hold me back from dessert”. I know I’m making her statement into a judgment on my failure and making it mean that I’m not strong enough to go longer than 1 day. Interestingly, the first thing she said when she saw me was that I had lost weight! She said she hadn’t and jokingly called me a ‘bitch’ for losing weight without her. We joked that she hadn’t gotten the memo, but that set the tone for the long weekend of indulging in desserts and good food.
With that background, I’m now very hesitant to share anything I’m doing with anyone. I find what I’m doing hard enough without the added battles of having to manage my thoughts around other people’s thoughts (some of which are very dear to me!). My question is – what do you recommend in my position? I struggle with what other’s think I can or can’t do, and tend to do better with someone cheering me on. With my husband, I’ve shared this with him, but he insists that he just wants to help and help me fix whatever it is that I’m working on. I know he is being supportive in his own way, but ultimately knowing that he thinks I need to be fixed and bearing the weight of disappointing him as well makes me want to either give up or do all my work in secret.