Please help me with my model on how she should be
C the person I work with
T She should pull her weight
F Frustrated
A I notice all her failings, I write her off as not helpful I waste my time thinking about her when I am not at work.
R I’m wasting my time getting less done and feeling bad

I have some authority over her in our work place so I can in theory tell her she should be different but I am rather just stewing over it and feeling sick because Im frustrated with her and I’m thinking I should do something but not doing it.
A ha! I see now the result is I should pull my weight as her supervisor and direct her. But it leads to this model:

C her
T I should make her pull her weight
F Guilty
A beat myself up about not being a good supervisor
R I’m still feeling bad and not doing anything

ugh. I guess i’m scared of conflict so I would prefer to judge her and not do anything about it. And judge myself for not doing anything about it!