Should a "negative" emotion ever be in our aligned model?


Hi Brooke/team!

I had a recent situation with my husband about some purchases. Here was my model…

C: husband asked to buy a shelf
T: I wish he would stop making me be the bad guy with money.
F: irritation/frustration
A: I respond rudely to him
R: I feel like the bad guy, I treat him like the bad guy, no one is happy.

My new model…

C: husband asked me if we could buy a new shelf.
T: I don’t like our current method of dealing with money.
F: dissatisfaction
A: ask husband if we can change our budgeting system.
R: communication, new method of dealing with money.

Is this flawed thinking that dissatisfaction can lead to positive action/results long-term? And if not in this case, is it ever possible? I suppose another new model could be…

C: ” ”
T: I’d like to create a new method
F: open-minded
A: sit down with husband and collaboratively figure out a new plan
R: We have a new method of dealing with money.

I can see how this second aligned model is more optimal, but it also would take a little longer to accept the thought. In short:

Should we ever purposely think (whether intentionally, or just by “settling”) thoughts that we know create negative emotions?