Should I stay or change?

Over the last few years of being in SCS a lot of the work I have done is on self acceptance, what I look like, my size and shape. It has been great work. I am able to see myself and have less if no judgement and then it seems to come back in. “I need to change, I need to lose weight, I don’t look good, this is a problem”. After that, I tend to work on acceptance again, not changing the C of my size, shape. In so many ways that works, but in other ways I want my size and shape to be different. I think I have a thought that me wanting to change means I don’t like myself and that that’s a problem. I feel like in some ways I am using the work for me and against me. I guess I am unsure if I should continue to accept and stay “the same” or work toward changing the C of my size and shape.