I wanted to be more intentional about loving my husband. One of the questions I asked myself was, “How can I love him?”
I made a list of things I thought my husband might appreciate using his love language (acts of service and quality time) as a starting place.
But I noticed that, especially for acts of service, I was feeling resentful about doing those things because of thoughts like “This seems like more work for me” and “I don’t like doing these things, but I’ll do them to show I love him.” Not exactly what I was going for. So I did a model:
T=I don’t like doing these things, but I’ll do them to show I love him
A= Do the things but from a sense of obligation, see it as a sacrifice, view it as a lot of work, do the actions but with resistance.
R=I do the actions, but there’s no love in them for him
I want to do an intentional model where the feeling is an abundance of love, but I’m having trouble coming up with thoughts that would produce that feeling and where the actions naturally flow from that feeling of abundance.
Can you suggest some thoughts?