My Mom does not show up when she says she is going to most of the time. I like to plan my day and have a general time of when we are going to do things so I can make time for other things in my day. I told her that it doesn’t work for me when she cannot commit to a time or when she doesn’t show up when she says she is going to.

Now I feel like it is almost pointless to even try to make plans with her because they often fall through and I have to figure out something else at the last minute. I don’t enjoy this outcome. It seems like it is easier to just do things by myself, which I can do. But then it seems I’m not having much of a relationship with her, which I guess is also an option.

I’m not sure how to show up as my best self in this situation? I would like to be loving to her, but I also value my time and would like to have boundaries. If I were waiting for her I could tell her I am leaving at a certain time even if she doesn’t show up. I’m not sure how to do this when she is supposed to pick me up and take me somewhere. How do I have a boundary when I am waiting on her?

Would an intentional model help? What might that look like?

C. Mom doesn’t show up when she says she will
T. It is pointless to try to make plans with her because they often fall through
F. Disappointed
A. I told her that it doesn’t work for me when she cannot commit to a time or when she doesn’t show up when she says she is going to, I don’t talk with her much, don’t make more plans, wish she would have shown up, try to manage my mind but have a lot of thoughts
R. ? I make my own plans and do them without her