Sick Child

Im a scholar newbie learning the model. Im a bit of a mess today as i began working on November homework. My 24 year old daughter has had 3 double lung transplants. A year ago today my daughter was trached using a ventilator and UCSF told us the risk of a 3rd double lung transplant was too high, only a handful done in the world. We thought she was going to die and that drove me to contact every transplant center in the world and send videos of Ally. (My daughter). Duke said yes and last December we flew across the country to wait and pray that our daughters life would be saved. She received her miracle six months ago and we were able to return to California 3 weeks ago. Stay with me, ill get to my point lol. We have been inundated with her survival statistics…the medical field feels its necessary to discuss all the time. We are a family of faith and believe God is in control and that none of us know when we will take our last breath. Ally is very much immersed in the law of attraction and we believe our minds are so powerful and healing. This all sounds great right. But in the past 48 hours two people we know and love in our transplant family passed away and fear is rearing its ugly head. My negative thoughts take over and tell me im in denial and that im using my faith and the law of attraction and basically choosing to believe my daughter will die a little old lady in bed as a way of avoiding. The average life expectancy is five years after transplant but weve met people who are 26 years strong and thriving. And i say to myseld and to my daughter, why not you? Why not believe that can be you? But today im in a deep hole of anxiety and fear and cant seem to find my way out. I joined SCS because i want to become a life coach and my niche is to help mothers of chronically ill kids needing transplants. But i need help myself. Im feeling a bit out of contol these past few days.