Sick kids stuck in house


I’m pretty sure we have Covid over here. My husband has been home these last few days sleeping but today went back to work so it’s just me and the kids ages 3, 5 and 7. Honestly it hasn’t bothered me. I have actually loved staying at home and the slower pace of things..until today.

I feel so ANNOYED. They are whining and asking for a million things. I know these are thoughts, haha, but i just feel so irritated and want to get out of the house again. I homeschool so I am used to being with my kids, I love homeschooling but I’m ready to get out and see other families again.

My 5-year-old is crying telling me to play with her and I am telling her that I don’t want to play. She’s had a fever too. I know it’s ok to have these boundaries for myself. She’ll be ok. I’m just trying to figure out what to do with the feeling of “annoyed” or frustrated. Each time I try to go into my body and identify it I find it bouncing back to my thoughts. Also I think I’m scared about being in the home too long from past experiences.

When my kids were 4, 2 and newborn we were sick often and it made me feel crazy, partially cause we were living in an underground basement apartment in the snow with no family around and I thought that I hated it and didn’t want to. So I’m trying to just think “this is what frustrated feels like” or “this is the 50% of life that is hard” or “it’s ok to feel annoyed at your kids.” But I stare at the clock and it’s only 1:15pm and here we are. We’ve already gone out front. We’ve already watched 2 movies. I’m scared for the rest of the day haha but I guess I’m just scared to feel feelings right?

C-I am feeling annoyed
T-I shouldn’t be mad at my kids. They are innocent.
F-Shame
A-lay here and hate the day
R-?

C-sick at home
T-this could go on for days
F-fear
A-lay here and hate the day
R-?

C-I feel annoyed
T-I should do a model and learn how to challenge my energy into doing something fun with them but I actually don’t want to do anything fun.
F-annoyed? Resistance?
A-lay here and think about how I should be a better mom
R-

Sooo I guess I have a lot of potential models going on. I think it comes down to feeling the feeling but I did just sign up for coach training so now I may be overthinking it cause my brain is telling me there is a “right” way.