Sick kids, thought spiral

My kids got the flu this week, one at a time so as to encompass most of the past 10 days. This sent me back into my old ways and feelings of despair and resentment. Every time I have tried to do something for myself and change for the better, something happens with the kids and I am thrown off my feet and into a thought spiral that ends in my being in a terrible mood, the kids fighting, the house is a mess, I’m not on protocol and I’m walking around angry and annoyed. Then I have the shame because I know I’m way out of my self coaching mindset and not doing models and being a better me. How will I ever change consistently enough so that my downs aren’t soo down?

c: Sick kids, less alone time
t: Every time I get into a happy pattern, the kids (or life) blows up in my face and takes all my time and energy
f: Resentment, Discouragement, frustration
r: meaner me, bad mood
a: Not doing my daily coaching and not on protocol

c: Sick Kids; less alone time
t: ?
r: Peaceful self, nurse kids, maintain order
a: Maintain protocol and stay peaceful

Doing the model is easy. Life still happens though.