I realize I have a manual for my sister, all the things a good sister would and should do. With this new awareness, I am working on myself and how I want to show up as a sister and in my interactions with her. She is going through IVF and has been dealing with infertility for two years, I would expect she would share this with her sister. Why I expect this I have no idea since she’s been private about her life since she was 12. I keep expecting her to change and show up differently, not going to happen. Only I can change the dynamic of the relationship.

Unintentional:
C: Sister casually texts that she started acupuncture
T: Why didn’t she ask me about my doctor and experience, she knows I went to acp for years when going through infertility
F: Disconnected
A: Don’t talk about much when I see her
R: Disconnection with sister

Intentional: option 1
C: Sister casually texts that she started acupuncture
T: Infertility over the age of 40 is so hard
F: Compassion
A: Text her, call her, encourage her, ask about things when I see her in person
R: Feel kind

Intentional: option 2
C: Sister casually texts that she started acupuncture
T: I am a caring older sister
F: Love
A: Text her, call her, encourage her, ask about things when I see her in person
R: Connection

I want the result of connection but compassion feels like a good feeling but does not make me feel connected. Thank you for your help!