I’m having a hard time with my sister.
C: By text message, Sister : “I am getting a new tattoo”. I ask her “Are you sure? Where do you want to do your tattoo?”. Sister: “You shouldn’t ask me that, why are you always judging me?”
T: She always thinks she is a victim, not again!
A: I don’t want to answer and add to the fuel, I ask my other sisters for advices (both of them offering complete opposite opinion), I relive the past scenarios, I try to understand her point of view, I disconnect completely.
R: I think I am a victim ?
I thought I was in a great place with her and now it seems that we are back where we were a year ago where we had a huge fight and we didn’t talk for 3 months.
I really want to go to a place where I don’t feel that I’m in a battle with her. I don’t want to walk on eggshells either.
I want to feel love around her, both for me and her, not defensiveness or anger.
When this kind of situation happens, my T is always triggering anger or defensiveness.
I would love some help to see what I am not seeing and where can I go with that.