I am perpetually tired. I rarely can get 8 hours of interrupted sleep. I blame my husband. I go to bed at 10 and stays up until 1 or 2 am. When he comes to bed he makes a lot of noise brushing his teeth, showering, etc. This wakes me up. Then I lay bed trying to fall back asleep. I get angry at being woken after I am in a sound sleep. I feel like it’s a boundary violation because it affects my whole life. My health, my ability to make clear decisions, my ability to be a good mom, wife, business owner. Is it a boundary violation?

The alternative would be to sleep in the basement on the couch. but there is no bathroom in the basement yet. If I have to use the restroom I have to go upstairs (inconvenient, long walk). This feels terrible. My thought is ‘I should be able to sleep peacefully in my own bed.” It seems reasonable.
Unintentional Model
C – sleep
T – I deserve uninterrupted sleep
F – angry
A – blame, yell, resentful
R – still no sleep

Intentional Model

C – sleep
T – I can’t think of any thought that will stop my husband from waking me up, or thought that that will calm my mind once I am woken up.
F – rested, alert, content
A – sleep uninterrupted
R – sleep well

What is a different way I could see this?
Is this a boundary violation?
Is a better solution to sleep in the basement and work on my thoughts about the inconvenience it poses and the negative thoughts it brings up about my marriage?