Sleeping with my toddler

Sleeping with my toddler.

I have one child, and I was extremely sleep-deprived while taking care of her. I started co-sleeping with her since she was 6 months old as I couldn’t handle sleep deprivation. I was nursing her until 2 yr 2 months.

After that, I let my husband co-sleep for a few months. She is 3 and 1/2 years old now, and even now, I feel the need to co-sleep with her when she wakes up at night. My husband has been sleeping next to her while I  am on a night shift, once or twice a week. I know he co-sleeps with her sleep every night as he is not working anymore. But I feel guilty as his vertigo might get triggered due to disturbed sleep.

I want to stop sleeping next to her and sleep peacefully every night when I’m not on a night shift. Because when I go to put her to bed, my husband tags along, and all 3 of us sleep together, but the bed seems smaller now. I don’t sleep well on that bed. I don’t want to get another bed but want to be courageous enough not to sleep next to my daughter.

My reasons to sleep with her are because: it feels good, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with her, and my husband’s vertigo might get triggered if he doesn’t sleep well. I know all these are not necessarily true.

I want to be able to sleep on my own while letting my husband co-sleep with her.