Sneaky Thought

I recently realized that my most common thought about my life is that “it’s lucky” or privileged, or something like that. I have wrote a lot about this and trying to feel grateful, but what I am beginning to realize is that instead of feeling grateful, the thought “my life is incredibly lucky” actually makes me feel guilty (or sometimes disappointed in myself). There is often a subconscious thought along the lines of “you should be doing more” that I can’t seem to shake. I have tried various intentional models around this.

For example:
C: My life
T: It’s very lucky and you deserve that
F: Grateful
A: act from gratitude, give, work hard
R: produce love and overdeliver.

But I am not sure I actually believe any of the thoughts that I make up that are intended to make me feel grateful (or even just not guilty). Can you help with the IM? Mostly the thought? Thanks!