I truly cannot stand the feel of my body—the rolls, upon rolls that I’ve never know before. I’m so uncomfortable in this body and keep “working towards” shedding some pounds by setting an impossible goal, trying to do an urge jar, writing a protocol (which I don’t follow), waking up each morning saying to myself that today is the day that I finally take the reigns.

But here I am again, having just eaten fast food and feeling like absolute crap both physically and mentally. I want so much to escape these foreign rolls on my body, but I keep eating more and growing more rolls.

Today I am in a funk because I feel like I keep failing, even though I refuse to give up. I keep focusing on running models, writing a protocol, and all the tools, but I think that perhaps some of my models need to be focused on my thoughts about how I feel in my body… and not just work stuff and weight loss impossible goal stuff.