So I just binged. Next steps.

I went nuts over the holidays with food, and am sitting here on the couch feeling terrible about myself. I know full well that I have to do something different. Usually the way I feel after a binge (ie: disgusting) catapults me into another restrictive diet that doesn’t work. I can see that the diet and binge are related, and they are both triggered by feelings of discomfort.

So, instead of hating myself right now, I am going to try to feel the physical sensations inside my body. Okay, I just tried. Overall, it seems to be my thoughts that are causing me the most distress. Things like “you’re going to be just like your mother” or “your face is fat” or “look at your disgusting hips” – those are all thoughts. But the actual physical sensations inside my body….yeah my stomach feels overly full. But also my knee sort of hurts, my tongue feels raw, my eyes are heavy and tired. I feel warm. My butt is a bit sore because of how I’m sitting. But in terms of physical sensations, that’s pretty much it.

So, the thoughts are still there, berating me in my head. Do I just let them go? Let them be? I guess I can try to do an intentional model. How do I want to feel? I guess I want to feel confident that I can lose the weight.

T If all these other people in LCS can lose the weight, you can too.
F Confident
A Find a few recipes and do meal prep tomorrow, exercise tomorrow (makes me feel good), and set a protocol in place and stick to it.
R Lose the 15lbs I want to lose and feel great

Hmm what thoughts would make me feel confident that I can do this?

Other people in LCS have done it, and have lose way more weight – so I could do it too!
I’ve seen lots of people on youtube etc. that have done it, so why couldn’t I?
(But I’ve tried so many times before and it’s never worked)
(I seem unable to feel my feelings)
I am fully capable of feeling all of my feelings – 100% capable of feeling them all entirely
I am capable of feeling even the most difficult, persistent feelings
I would be SO incredibly proud of myself if I lost the weight, if I actually FINALLY did it. I’d be incredibly proud of myself.
All it takes is one thought to change – the past is completely irrelevant and has no bearing on my future results. It’s all just a story.
My 65 year old step mom lost 15lbs and works out and looks great. This absolutely IS possible.
Wouldn’t it be nice to not fight my body anymore?
Wouldn’t it be nice if this was easier than I ever imagined?
Wouldn’t it be nice if this was EASY?

I also think I could encourage myself, because I do well with extreme positive encouragement. Saying something like: You can absolutely do this, you are so strong, this is the one thing you haven’t been able to break through but you can absolutely do it, you’re so close, I’m totally here for you, we can do it together, your will is strong but your higher self is so much stronger, you can feel all the hard feelings, I know you can! It might feel uncomfortable to feel the urges but it will be EASY for you if you allow it, you’re so confident and capable and revolutionary – think of all the things you could teach others when you get through this! You have got this, I know you do, you’re so smart and good at things. You can do this, too.

So, that’s what I come up with. And I presume I do the same thing when the urges come up, just feel the physical sensation without getting to deep into the thoughts. Any advice?