My thought download today was an attempt to wrap my brain around an explanation for why the people around me are changing the way they treat me. I am changing, yes…but why suddenly are they willing to behave in ways that they were never willing to do before? So that was my thought download and when I got to the models, it was so profound for me that I had to share just in case it can help someone else.
unintentional (circumstance from the past):
C: husband answered “because I can”
T: I will never be seen as worthy to anyone
F: heartbroken and devastated
A: go deeper into depression, believe I will never be worthy
R: I am never treated as worthy
This model left a huge, heavy knot in my entire torso that literally made me want to curl up in a fetal position when I allowed the feeling it produced. I can’t believe I carried that all these years! Sooo thankful for learning self-love!
The next model is my intentional thought, but honestly I was still dissatisfied with the feeling that it produced. I don’t want to feel “protective”. I want to feel loved. So I did a 3rd model, starting with the feeling of loved:
Intentional (unwanted feeling):
C: receiving respect and attention
T: loving myself teaches others how they are to treat me
F: protective
A: honor and respect myself first
R: I receive more honor and respect
Intentional (wanted feeling):
C: receiving respect and attention
T: I am loved and adored and worthy
F: loved
A: love in return
R: more love
Doing this showed me how my new thought “loving myself teaches others how they are to treat me” is both true and helpful but still produced an unwanted experienced feeling “protective”. This was such a perfect example to me of how we can choose the feeling we want to have and find a thought that supports that feeling. It was such a perfect example to me of how we can move through models to evolve from something so heavy it makes you want to curl into a fetal position to something better but still not what is wanted and finally into the experience I want to have. And it truly does show that the difference is not in the circumstance, but in the thought!
This work is so powerful and I am beyond thankful!!!!
Sending you a great big electronic hug, Brooke….better than a real hug because you will not even get the tears on your shoulder.
Thank you.
Karen M