Socially Awkward

I’m socially awkward and shy and don’t want to be.

It’s like anxiety, in that the more I try not to be awkward, the more awkward I am.

I know I make others uncomfortable so they tend to avoid me, which just perpetuates the cycle.

It doesn’t help that my in-laws and others in my life have labeled me as the shy, quiet one. So I feel stuck in that identity.

What’s weird to me is that in my online life, I think people would say I’m confident and be surprised at my awkwardness if they interacted with me in person.

How can both of these be me? How can I change this? Or how can I be quietly confident?

I don’t mind being quiet, but I don’t want to be awkward.