Son’s rude behaviour v2

C – son says words
T – that is rude and unacceptable
F – frustrated
A – take away holiday, I get cranky, yell, ruminate on all the times he acts in ways I don’t like, think he will never change, question all that I am doing wrong, grow distant from him, tell him I don’t like his behaviour (Frustration is stopping me from having the relationship I want with him, of growing closer and being more kind and loving to each other)
R – We are locked in battle.

If I set a boundary I want it to come from a place of love but I know I am setting the boundary to not only protect myself but also teach him a lesson. I believe he should not be rude and needs consequences for his actions. How do I reconcile this?