I want to start speaking less when I’m home with my family. When I speak in an angry or annoyed tone my husband seems to get really triggered and then yells at the kids. I don’t want our home to be a yelling fighting household.

C Desire to speak less
T when I talk, I make it worse
F fault? Shame? Guilt?
A close up, try not to speak, withdraw, don’t have boundaries and just “give up” and do whatever everyone asks, end up building up resentment and then exploding
R ?

A specific example would be this mornings.

C Told son, when your room is clean then you can play the PlayStation. Husband then says words to kids and throws sons Lego.
T I shouldn’t have said that
F Regret
A keep quiet as husband yells, start busying myself with cleaning, withdraw from family and start focusing on school work. Beat myself up for saying that and replay what i should have done. Think about how our home life is not how I want it.
R keep thinking I shouldn’t have said that.

I’m not sure how I would create an intentional model.

Intentional

C Desire to speak less
T I’m curious what happens when I speak less
F Curiosity
A stay quiet and be observant as to what is happening when I’m quiet. Give myself space to think before I speak. Allow my family to do and say and be who they are
R gives myself awareness as to what happens when I speak less and decide if this is what I want.