Spouse involvement in decisions


I can already guess your reply, but hoping for some unexpected nuggets: so I’ve been contemplating a very big career change, but not because it’s been a “dream” of mine, but simply because I’ve been considering it for a while now as an option, it would allow me to do work I prefer more than my current job, and it would challenge me tremendously. Here’s the thing about Massive Action: my actions impact my spouse. He just moved in with me 1 year ago, which involved several personal sacrifices like a doubled commute time, getting rid of half his stuff, higher monthly costs, etc. Now this “idea” is facing me. It would require me to move 2 hours away, just ME, because he can’t quit his job right now. We would have to work out a flexible “together time” schedule. He would have to move to a cheaper apartment (closer to his work, which is the only “plus” for him I see in all this). It feels super-unbalanced. I might hate the new job and want to move back – I don’t know what I don’t know about the new job, and yes I’ve done my research. But stuff happens. He says he wants me to do it. “What would you do if you were alone?” he asks. But I’m NOT alone!

UM:
C: new job opportunity
T: the impact on both of us is too great to take it
F: sad, frustrated, but also a bit relieved
A: I don’t take the job
R: stay at my current safe unchallenging job

IM:
C: new job opportunity
T: I believe my spouse’s blessing to “go for it” is sincere despite the sacrifices for him, knowing he’s a self-sacrificing type of guy
F: grateful, scared, challenged
A: I take the new job
R: I move, he moves, we never see each other, the job is horrible, resentment builds, I move back, no job, everyone is harmed
Lol (sort of)

How do you try stuff out knowing it will impact another negatively? I know he’s responsible for his feelings. Thanks!