Standards Vs Manual

How do you differentiate between standards and the manual? I don’t want to go about life with no standards, accepting anything that comes my way. So yes, I expect friends to do X, Y, Z (show up when they say they will, not talk behind my back) I expect my partner to do X, Y, Z (have drive in life, not lie, not cheat)How would I go about choosing relationships without standards or a manual for what you accept and don’t accept in your life?