Started crying at a party because I was feeling lonely and everyone seemed to be having a great time. I ended up leaving.


It was my friend’s 50th birthday party at a bar. I went with my boyfriend of 7 months, but we had had a fight the night before which hadn’t been resolved. I felt we weren’t really having that good of a time together and also anxiety about other people at the party and everyone seemed to be having a good time – even my boyfriend and I felt the walls closing in. The pressure and anxiety became too much and I felt very alone and started crying but didn’t want anyone to see me so went to the bathroom and then ended up leaving. My boyfriend noticed and came outside and we left without saying goodbye.

How to change my thinking in these types of situations.

Here are some models I am working with. It gets confusing when the circumstance includes feelings or when the thoughts are thoughts ABOUT feelings.

C: Fight with boyfriend. Went to party trying to act like everything is normal. Got anxious and depressed, felt trapped and started crying.
T: I hate when I do this
F: Out of control, ashamed
A: Leave so no one will see me
R: Didn’t have fun – feel like I acted like a baby

C: Cried in public
T: I am fucked up
F: Sad
A: Gather evidence through excessive thinking about all the ways that I am fucked up.
R: Leave the party early and feel shameful about it.

C: Got sad at the party and left abruptly
T: I hate when I act like this
F: defeated, like I am such a bummer
A: Gather evidence of why I am so sad and depressing
R: Get more depressed and intermittently keep crying the whole next day.

I guess I did give myself time to experience my sad emotions. I just happened to do it at a bad time, in the middle of a party which was not a time I wanted to be experiencing them. Any help processing this would be great.

Thank you.