Should I stay or should I go now?

I have often heard you say, don’t leave a marriage unless you are happy. I still have some things I am working on, as I imagine I always will, as I am a questioner and a seeker. So, when do I know the time is right?

I was listening to your podcast about being a good mate. One of the questions you asked was what would you miss about that person if they died. Same question about my Mom or my kids and I could easily start crying. But, when I think of my husband, I think it would be hard on the kids, but much easier for me than a divorce. Horrible I know, I have felt this way toward him for a long time.

I used to have a lot of anger, resentment and hate toward him. Thanks to self coaching scholars, personal counseling, couples counseling, marriage workshops and more, I have come to accept things as they are and am now more indifferent. He is an adult free to live his life however he wants. He is the father of my wonderful children. He is a human with flaws, just like everyone else. Everything we have had, choices we have made, were exactly what we, what I was supposed to do.

But, now, looking forward I can make new choices, different choices. Choices that align with my values, goals and aspirations. All fear aside, I am ready for a divorce. However, fear is not aside, but a huge pile of what ifs, that I can’t seem to get around. Especially when it comes to the kids.

Any recommendations on how to filter through the fears and how to know when the time is right?

Thanks in advance for your time!