Staying Out of Son’s Model


I find myself wanting to take responsibility for my children’s feelings. I want to say or do the “right” thing to “fix it” for them. I am aware of this and when I don’t say words to try to counter their negative emotions or situations I create regret, guilt, and even shame for myself. These are the models I used the last time this happened.
Wondered if there are any things that need to be tweaked?
Unintentional Model
C: Son said words
T: I should have said encouraging words to help him not be so hard on himself
F: Regret
A: Wake up in middle of night spinning about what I should have said, Beat up on myself with all the shoulds of what I should have said or done. Don’t allow myself to see what I did do that could have been helpful. Did not stop and feel the emotion in my body.
R: I discourage myself by being hard on myself.

Intentional Model
C: Son said words
T: I said exactly what I was suppose to say and not say in response because that is what I said.
Or 50% of the time he is going to feel shit feelings and he can handle it.
F: Compassion
A: Accepted my responses to the circumstance. Let it go. Empathized with him. I allowed my son to own his own feelings. Didn’t spin or beat up on my self. I let go of my manual for him.
R: I create acceptance of myself and what is.
Or I create acceptance of all the feelings.

Thank you to Brooke and all the coaches for being who you are! It has changed and is continually expanding and improving my life and the world one thought at a time!