sticking to the plan

hi brooke,

I have not be able to stick to the schedule AT ALL. I oversleep, tell myself I can put things off until tomorrow, and then have a hard time doing those things. i work in design/build in new york city, and there’s many things a day that get thrown at me that i didn’t anticipate, and theres so much frantic yelling and running around in my office.

this months subject is tapping into one of my biggest hurdles in life – managing my time. I’ve felt for a long time, especially in regard to my creativity, very anxious and overwhelmed when i have things to do. someone said about frank llyod wright that he could only work when his back was against the wall, that he would create all this turmoil around him in order to push himself forward. I do this. I also wait as long as I can to do things, so I then HAVE to, and don’t have time to really think, but must act and deliver.

This is my river of misery. Its been painful ever since I started being creative in time-oriented environment (school and work).

I have no clue how to work myself out of this. I know a lot of this will start with thought work, but I’m really unsure of how to start unpacking this is so habitual and feels kind of primal. there’s a lot of fear and anxiety, and then there’s the rush and anticipation.

I’ve been reading Ninja Selling (which is amazing!) and his quadrant of reacting from the upper positive space, with energy and postivity, is totally a better place to be than from fear, frantic-ness and anxiety. How can I cross the river? Start with 1 thought? An example would really help, as all the thoughts feel mushed together.

thanks in advance!!! getting so much out of this course.