CC: Lockdown stuff
Hi coaches.
During Lockdown, we are to stay within our households. People that live alone are allowed a buddy but they should live close by.
A person I have been dating who lives alone wants me to be their buddy. He lives about 10kms away (out of immediate neighbourhood).
I asked my two housemates about this as this would be extending our ‘bubble’ if I see this person and then come home. The person has been self-isolating for two weeks and seeing no one so I think it is ok but want to honour the opinion of my housemates.
They said they would think about it.
I told the person I am dating this, and he has not been texting back ‘as normal’
C: Frequency of WhatsApp activity reduced
T: He doesn’t like me anymore
F: sad
A: Look back on ‘everything we had’ with sorrow, take inventory of recent comms and see where I went wrong, think that everything has now fallen down because of this and now life is shit, think he was the one keeping things ‘ok’ during Covid, ignore other possible explanations for his response activity, do not think what else he could be thinking, cry, listen to triggering music, catastrophise and believe everything has gone wrong now, want to drink alcohol to numb, berate myself for showing up this way, think of how to get him to like me again, will likely over-text to get him to engage or else start withdrawing myself, look at life and future through lens of devastation and that nothing will ever be good again.
R: I don’t like me or my life
I can see that thinking he liked me ‘before’ made me ‘have thoughts’ like ‘everything is ok when he likes me, we are going to have a great time after lockdown, I must be an awesome person if he likes me back’ etc.
I’d rather be there for myself and like myself, instead of making this about him and ‘caring’ so much about whether he likes me or not.
C: Frequency of WhatsApp activity reduced
T: I choose to love myself no matter what the other humans think
F: confident
A: Don’t get creepy and weird and game-playing with the guy, text as normal, trust things will work out how they are supposed to, look at all the good things about myself
R: Love myself.
This feels like a bit of a stretch. What do you think?
Thank you
