Still love him

I have been married for 14 years, I have felt resentment, anger and not loved…I reconnected with an ex-boyfriend, we had contact via Internet. I felt connected, admired, seen, heard. I chose to continue talking to him and had a relationship even though he doesn’t live in the same country I do. My husband found out, he asked me not to contact him anymore. I did, but I still love and long for the other guy. I don’t think he can give me the life my husband gives me, a very comfortable one where I don’t have to work. Also I don’t know the other guy, even though I felt he loved me and was connected to me too. He is not contacting me anymore because I told him my husband found out… I feel sad… I can’t take him out of my mind, how can I do that?? There’s the possibility he was not true to me, I will never know that. Everyday I think of him and that I would love to be with him.