Still overeating

I’m choosing daily to eat instead of feel urges. And the more I eat the more urges I experience. Today all my free time was filled with eating or planning eating.
I lost all my weight and now I’m almost back where I started. 14 pounds or so.
I’m frustrated with myself. I did so much work to get down to goal weight. I practiced all the thoughts and did all the coaching. But now I’m back where I started as if I’d never even started SCS.
I see the model where the thought is ‘i cant stop eating’ and I see the result of it which is the continuous weight gain.
I try to think and practice the thought ‘I can stop anytime’ and although i know its ultimately true, i keep forgetting it and choosing to eat.
the other thoughts are: it doesnt matter, I can lose the weight again, it’ll be fine.
But besides having to get my bigger clothes out. And feeling so embarrassed that everyone can see my weight gain. Besides that. I also don’t want my whole life to be about food. But it does seem to be the only relief I have from my day. And the only thing I look forward to. When I’m eating like this everything else fades.
I know that I can stick to a protocol and lose weight and feel good doing it. I only know it because I’ve done it before. But I can’t seem to get back into that mindset. I really feel like I don’t know where to go next.
I’ve tried every day for weeks or months but when the urge comes up I forget all my plans.
I can see this is just a thought download of thoughts creating weight gain.
How do I get to believe new thoughts?
(the other thought is, I’ve done it before-it takes too much time, its too much effort, it doesn’t stick)
Thanks for any help you can offer.