Still working on my purpose

So, I am noticing most peoples purpose is about giving to others. I feel like I have work to do on myself before there is anything to give. I wrote about being a great wife, grandmother, mom…etc truthfully it didn’t fire me up at all. Didn’t change anything I did. One challenge I have is finding good feelings. I understand my thinking creates my feelings so I can change them so… about this purpose..
My purpose in life is to find my joy. This seems very difficult to me. Joy is a feeling I just don’t feel. Happy is about the best I can access and that isn’t easy. How does one go about “finding joy”? I don’t even know where to start.