Stop Overeating and Eating Disorder

Brooke, I am brand new to Scholars. I am looking for advice on what to focus on for my first month. I came to Scholars after ordering your “If I am so Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weigh”t book from a YouTube advertisement. I was bulimic when I was younger and stopped engaging in that when I was 25 and found out I had Lupus. I am 47 now and still have a disordered relationship with food – using it to soothe myself and buffer (I am new to that term) and sometimes even using food to make things worse for myself. I want to work on “Stop Overeating”, however, when I change my eating or even start thinking about changing my eating, I freak out. I become super rebellious and anxious/depressed and make things worse than if I had not tried to change my eating. I am using food to deal with my emotions. If that is gone, I don’t know how to be with how I feel. Would it be better for me to start with “How to Feel Better” first in order to tackle the underlying problem so that I have a chance when it comes to changing the food? That makes the most intellectual sense for me to start there, but it is most important and motivating for me to stop this disordered relationship with food now. (I do understand that Scholars is not therapy and I am in the care of a therapist/psychiatrist). Thank you so much.