Hi Brooke
So I have done some amazing work on my marriage, in particular my husband’s overdrinking, in the last 6 months. I have accepted I can’t change his behaviour (which I’ve been trying to do for at least 6 years – exhausting!) and have set a boundary that he will sleep in the other room if he drinks too much so as not to disturb my sleep.
I really want to keep progressing in this area and wondered what your tips would be. One of my continual habits is ‘overwatching’ – watching how much alcohol he buys, how much he drinks, how quickly he drinks – I have thought of myself as the policewoman in the past, and I hate this. It makes me not live in the moment, and occasionally I’ll make derogatory comments to my husband which have zero effect on his behaviour anyway.
I’ve found it good to remove myself from this situation sometimes and go to another room to read a book, etc but sometimes I just want to sit and watch a movie with him or spend time with him without constantly watching him drink. I am learning to sit with the uncomfortable feelings of worry/concern/disappointment when I’m there but want to move past this habit. Thanks for your help!