strange pattern of mine

Hi Coaches,

So I noticed a funny behavior of mine.
My boyfriend and I had planned a weekend getaway this weekend, but as he is a self-employed photographer he has to work this weekend. He has a really good offer he shouldn’t decline.

So my first reaction was like:
I find it really insulting that you don’t even consider doing our getaway.

But I noticed that I was really fine with it.
I could do something with my friends.

Reasons I bitch about it:
Cause I like to bitch about it and it comes naturally to me
I want to show him thats its not ok!!

Also because I’m scared that if I don’t bitch about it soon it won’t matter to me if he has to work or not. And I will fall out of love with him etc.
So I create this drama to tell my brain he is important otherwise you wouldn’t bitch about something. You want to spend time with him and he can’t come so I’m sad/mad.

I think I connect real love/being in love with being dramatic and crazy about someone and also act crazy.

How can I hinder my anxiety and still be a respectful nice human being to him? haha

thanks for helping!