I created a intentional model that I’m struggling with- I don’t feel like I’m internalizing it or that its helping me focus and relax.

My struggle right now is that I’m upset at myself for making myself crazy last year trying to make sure I have an easy delivery- which didn’t work. I feel extremely defeated bc of that.  I’m pregnant for a second time I feel paralyzed from fear and I’m struggling to cope. I don’t want to do anything to help myself with this delivery bc I feel like nothing will help (Im still recovering from my first child delivery)
C- Episiotomy -Scar Tissue Surgery
T- This delivery doesn’t have to end like last time
F- hopeful
A- Ill enjoy this pregnancy with out fear. ( I will speak positively)
R- having an amazing delivery delivery

If you can please give me some advice how I can calm myself down and focus on “anything can happen the future is unwritten”.