Struggling giving up sugar and flour and giving in to urges

I feel like a broken record. I will process urges and manage hunger for a few days and then it feels like I’m suddenly overtaken and just eat it. I want to not want it. I don’t want alcohol at all (gave it up 6 years ago and it was like I switch flipped and never flipped back). But cake and ice cream…I get such a rush from them and when I eat them I find myself fog eating for a couple of days, undoing my weight loss and starting over. Again.

I know I indulge in confusion about what plan to follow and want to do IF but know i should be sugar and flour free for several weeks first. I also notice I feel sad when they are gone and my brain tells me I’m not that overweight and it’s ok to feel better RIGHT NOW. It’s incessant.

Do I not want it enough? Do I not have a compelling enough reason? Do other people struggle this much? I try to tell myself I’m learning and each fail teaches me but it’s frustrating and I’m ashamed. Help.