Struggling through models surrounding a major event.

Hi Brooke! I have been in SCS now for 4 months now and I love how much I have been able to work on! I have done a lot of work on myself which has opened a lot and changed a lot for me! Yay! However, the most emotionally taxing thing that happened to me last year, I will admit I have been avoiding to work on because I know it is a lot of work. So, this month with the focus on feelings I realized I needed to just meet this head on and work through this so I can REALLY make some massive breakthroughs! After going through some of them I have been struggling. I keep thinking that all my models have to end up positive in some way. Is that the case? When I do models on some of the circumstances around what happened they don’t always end up positive. Here are a couple of examples:

C – J is advertising that she was a successful CFO
T – How dare she pretend that she was something she was not!
F – anger
A – when she pops up online, get upset at her social media get angry when she talks about her success as CFO.
R – I create victim mentality and look for ways to react and get angry over her social media.

C – J is advertising that she was a successful CFO
T – I don’t agree with that given the mess we had when she left.
F – frustration
A – Make a conscious decision not to look for anything with her anywhere. Even block if I can
R – I still don’t agree with her claims but I am focused on more productive business issues.

Unintentional Thought:
C – J stole 100,000 from us.
T – She knew she was using company funds for her own use. She stole from us!
F – Anger
A – Talk about it, dwell on it,
R – I continue to focus on it and it keeps me from moving forward

C – J stole 100,000 from us.
T – She knew what she was doing, she stole from us.
F – frustration
A – Focus on present company priorities.
R – We continue to work on business and become more successful.

Is it just a matter of time that things turn more benign? Or do I need to look for more neutral feelings that my brain can accept? Or is it okay that some of these circumstances just aren’t positive? Is the ultimate goal to be able to look at these circumstances that invoke negative feelings and they end up positive in some way? I WANT this situation to get to a point to where it doesn’t provoke any more negative feelings. Is it just a matter of continuing to do models until I can get to that point? I kind of feel like I am spinning and I am hoping this making sense.

Thank you!