Struggling with end of a relationship.

When I ditch my Manual on my husband and just love him… that feels great! BUT, there are things he says and does that do not serve me that I do not want to be around or in my life. He drinks and when he drinks he’s perverted and says things I don’t want to hear and does things I don’t want to be a part of. I still love him. But I don’t want to be with him anymore as long as he continues to drink. I feel I am protecting myself. That feels good. BUT, divorce does not feel good. Not having him my life does not feel good because I DO love him and when he’s sober things are great! But he chooses not to give up alcohol. And that’s OK. So am I just having the experience of contrasting emotions here? It feels good to love him and bad to let him go? And that’s just part of life? And that’s ok.