Struggling with feelings about my sister

I’m the older sister. I’ve always been the smart one, the successful one, the pretty one, and I’ve prided myself on this.

Anyway, now my sister is doing some stuff in real estate that seems to be pretty impressive, and potentially make her a lot of money. I’m finding myself having a very hard time hearing about it, because it just makes me feel like such a loser. It makes me feel like “nothing”, I feel humiliated, I feel like such a stuck loser. I’ve been trying to launch my coaching business for years, but I’m so afraid to quit my corporate job partly because it means that yeah – maybe she will be more successful. And yeah – maybe my struggle will be obvious, and I’ll feel so much “less than”.

I hate all of this immensely. I just feel like such a pile of poo that I can’t muster up the courage to believe in myself and just GO FOR MY OWN DREAMS.

Anyway, I’m not even sure how to begin with this. I know I feel jealous, like a loser, absolutely FULL of anxiety, and like I’m wasting my time. I think I have a few different things going on here, the wasting time is a huge one.

I don’t even know what to do anymore, and any advice is appreciated.