stuck in a model

C-husband says, “do you want this plastic tarp?”
T-stop asking me or telling me what to do! or stop criticizing me!
F-not in control of life
A-i say”cant you tell I’m too busy to do anything with it right now?”
R-yelling back and forth
I always react so fast because I think I’m being criticized or I’m being told what to do.
I overreact before I realize what meaning I have given his innocent questions.
it’s the same two thoughts every time.
I listened to the thought loop podcast, but that’s not the problem.
Q: how do I stop this from happening? how do I stop and realize I’m making his question mean something else before I open my mouth?
I’m desperate to stop this, please help! Mahalo!