Stuck in divorce models


Hello, I’m working on the following models and stuck. Any help appreciated. Thank you!

C: Divorce
T: If he does improve himself, I want to be with that version and I won’t get to.
F: Rejected
A: Feel despondent, try to figure out why he rejected me after he cheated and lied, think something must be wrong with me, think something must be wrong with him.
R: Not creating a better version of me?

C: Divorce
T: If he does improve himself, I want to be with that version, and I won’t get to.
F: Hurt
A: Feel hurt and sad, complain to myself and others about his actions against me, think of nice things he did, think of nice times and want those back, think of when I was supportive of him and he didn’t appreciate it, try to analyze many moments/interactions to figure out if what I or he did wrong.
R: Again, I’m not creating a better version of me? (I’m not sure I believe this, as when my brain is trying to figure out what happened, what I did wrong or what signals I should have noticed sooner. It feels as if it is trying to learn, figure out what went wrong to understand and correct the problem).

C: Divorce
T: I don’t want to be married to the crappy version and divorced from the good version – if he does create a better version I don’t want to be divorced from that version because I loved that kind, loving version of him.
F: Ugh!
A: Feel unhappy, despondent, hopeless, stuck in a life without my husband, who I committed to loving and love/hate now, have to raise children with, even though I don’t want them exposed to what he is exposing them to. Feel used by him. Don’t go after other relationships (don’t really want to, I just wanted to be with my husband – the nice version).
R: ? I don’t know here? Feel trapped? Unhappy, wronged, angry, sad, loving and hating, confused? I can’t figure out what to think of him…