I’ve been working on allowing negative emotions and noticing I feel negative most of the day. I experience it as a physical sensation of feeling tired and wanting to be alone. When I’m alone and tasks are completed I feel relief but not positive emotions. When something “good” happens I notice myself thinking “this should make me feel good”. The more I’m allowing negative emotions the more miserable I seem to be becoming. My UM is:
C:wake up
T: I’m allowing negative emotions
F: acceptance and sadness
A: go about day carrying sadness in a ‘heavy purse’, stay low key (requires effort to complete regular day)
R: sadness remains, fear I’ll always feel this way
There is no particular thing I’m sad about, more like a generalized disappointment in my life. I’m reluctant to take antidepressants but I’m starting to worry this pattern indicates I need them. I consider making radical changes to my C but I understand the work starts in the T line.
Is there anything more I can try with my thought work or actions? I’d really value any suggestions. Thank you.